Respect and Trust!

Trust has to be gained and respect has to be earned. This could take up to a year to gain and earn but it literally takes 5 minutes to lose. It happens and can be regained and re-earned but it will never be the same again. Although if it happens enough times then the people who keeps losing it will get suddenly sick of losing it every time a single little thing that happens. This is happening to be a lot and I am on the verge of cutting this person out of my life. The only problem is that it is a family member and if I do that, then I might lose the rest of my family with it. I don't want to lose all of them but it is getting to the point where I don't want to please them or even live them. I am young I know I am but seeing as this has been happening for almost 9 years now, it seems like the only thing to do. This has been a long time coming. Now when this happens I watch a couple of episodes of Gossip Girl (favourite show!) or watch a few YouTube videos, which always make me laugh whether they are old or recent. The problem is that isn't working right now and I don't know what to do with all of this. I am not looking to start any arguments with people because I am not like that at all. I don't want you to say that it will be OK. I know that it won't be because no matter how many times this has happened since it started it is never OK. It never goes away for a long enough time for me to be happy. I put on a smile and get on with life because I don't want people worrying about me. Ever! I mean ever! I don't want to worry people about it. Now this isn't a feel bad about me. This is a post to remind you all that trust has to be gained and respect as to be earned. Although you need to be careful when you lose it. This is my space to vent my feelings every once in a while as it is your space when you want to get away from reality and disappear into the internet world we all build ourselves. I am venting and I don't want you guys to think that I am telling you because I have no-one to talk to. I just don't want to make another blog that you might stumble upon later in life. I just needed to spend some time typing this out and to get all of my anger out instead of smashing things and then bursting into tears like I normally do. xx

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